Should we live with our problems or solve them?

Problems are a part of human life.What is important is not whether the problems faced by us are big or small, but how we react to them.

Do we attack a problem and solve it, or do we get bogged down by it and keep ruing it. There is a constructive and a non-constructive attitude towards problems. The constructive attitude is to understand the nature and the cause of the problem and to solve it head-on. The non-constructive attitude is to accept it as one's fate and live with it.

First, we must understand the nature of the problem and identify all possible solutions to it. In a piece of paper analyse the nature of the problem on one side and list all possible solutions on the other.This way one is able to react to the problem rationally. Among the different options select the best solution and work on it.

NEVER THINK THAT YOU ARE THE UNLUCKY ONE:
Never make the mistake of thinking that you are the only one who has problems. The problems faced by others may be much bigger than yours, but instead of making fuss about them they may be busy solving them. Problems are a feature of human life and these must be taken as challenges rather than as hurdles.

DON'T GET PREOCCUPIED WITH THE PROBLEM:
The second mistake we make is that we get preoccupied with how the problem is affecting us rather than how to solve it. We spend our time and energy on grieving about the negative aspects of the problem rather than finding solutions. As a result -

• The problem gets prolonged.
• It causes depression, mental confusion, frustration and anger.
• Reduces our confidence to solve the problem.
• It can affect our health.

PUTTING THE BLAME ON OTHERS
We often hold others responsible for our problems and expect them to solve them for us.. We must understand no one can solve your problems for us, We have to solve them ourselves.

Atrocities against women

Yesterday I watched a TV news where an engineer woman was killed by her doctor husband. She was bundled into a suitcase and thrown into a river. The  doctor was asking for dowry.

 For how long will such atrocities against women continue? We often tend to believe that atrocities occur only in uneducated families. But, this incident shows that these cases are happening in educated families as well. 

Women are tortured by their in-laws for not bringing adequate dowry, not producing a male child, not doing a house hold work. In some houses the bride is treated not as a Bahu of the family but a maidservant. The irony of the situation is that these days even a maidservant will not listen to unreasonable demands, and leave the work the very next day if you dare to say something to her.

In our society a girl child is considered a Paraya Dhan. Once she is married we feel that our responsibility is over and now the girl should  adjust within the new family. Sometimes girls are not allowed to talk or meet their parents. It is understood by the boy’s side that the girl should sever all ties from her parents and focus on her new family. They take the girl as their private property or as a maid they have purchased who is supposed to follow instructions without opening her mouth. In some houses even the dress the girl is supposed to wear is decided by her in-laws.  We must understand one thing that a daughter will always remain a daughter. She will always be attached to her parents. It  is not possible to make her yours  by cutting her off  from her family. In her new family she needs lots of love and affection from her in-laws. She needs  co-operation, understanding, protection, security and love from her husband, in order to make her feel that this new family is hers and they are concerned  about her well being. 

We must give our daughters  good education so that they can handle such situations bravely.  Although the  law against domestic violence passed in 2005 has brought a change but not many girls are aware of their rights after marriage. Atrocities against women is the burning topic which cannot be ignored. We must understand that a girl has her own mind, her likes and dislikes. She is an individual and would like to live her life without unreasonable restrictions. She should not feel caged after marriage. I feel that “Rights of women” as a subject  should be taught to girls in the school. This will make them aware of their rights and also give them strength to fight such atrocities. A girl’s parents should also give her  support if she is having a problem in her marriage. It is not right to say that once a girl is married  her parents lose all rights over her. If a girl is not happy in her new family then her parents have all the right to question a groom’s  family.

309 IPC ---YES or NO ?

I was wondering why is punishment given to a person? Is it to prevent him from commiting a crime or for failing in commiting a crime. In a suicide case one cannot be punished once he has commited a suicide; he is punished for failing in doing so. Now the big question is: why should section 309 IPC exist at all. In a way this section forces a person to ensure that he or she suceeds in a suicide attempt.

Women as Victims

In the twenty first century we take pride in giving freedom to women. And yet women are highly unsafe today. When on the one hand the story of Jessica Lal is still earning revenue and accolades to the producer and director, there is another shooting incident of a young girl on the roads of Delhi for which the police would find it difficult to get witnesses.